Tommy Hilfiger: ‘My dad apologised for not being a great dad, which was very moving’

I am the eldest son, the second child of nine. I grew up in Elmira, a small town in New York State. My dad, who was Protestant, converted to Catholicism to marry my mother. He worked hard as a watchmaker and jeweller and my mum worked part-time as a nurse. We lived first in a semi-detached house and it was pretty cosy, with so many of us sharing rooms.

My dad had very high standards for me. As the eldest boy, I shouldered a lot of responsibility. I was close to my brothers and we could go off to play sport or, in our teens, go to rock concerts. When I was young, we were taken to church every Sunday, but religion was never something I could relate to.

The only grandparent I knew was my dad’s mother, Nana Dorothy. She was the only grandparent still alive when I was born. She was pretty strict when I was younger. Like my dad, she wanted me to have a traditional education and get a steady job. My mother was always supportive of my choices, as was her sister, my aunt Annie. I had all these creative thoughts but I didn’t share them with my parents, as I didn’t understand them myself.

I was quite good at earning money from a young age, and would do little jobs to make a buck. I wasn’t so interested in schoolwork. I loved sport, but being small, I wasn’t a natural athlete. My interest in clothes developed in my early teens. I was fascinated by what people wore and what made them look good. At age 19, I opened my first store, People’s Place.

I met Susie, who was working in one of my stores, when she was 17 and I was in my mid-20s. We shared a passion for design and clothes and five years later, we were married. We lost our first baby; Susie had an ectopic pregnancy, which was traumatic. When our four children were small, I really had to work hard at finding the time to be a parent while my business life became very demanding. I think it put a strain on the marriage.

My youngest daughter, Kathleen, was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum when she was five, so we focused on giving her the best care and attention. My eldest daughter, Ally, was sick a lot during her childhood and was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease, in her late teens. She really suffered but, with a lot of help, she has come through.

When I met my second wife, Dee, I found out that she had a son with special needs, which brought us closer. Being married second time around is definitely different. We now have a son, Sebastian, who is also on the autistic spectrum. He is doing well, and has a lot of input from therapists. We both work with a charity, Autism Matters, to try to raise awareness of the condition.

Although my dad was tough on me when I was growing up, we were reconciled at the end of his life. When he was close to death in 1989, he did apologise for not being a great dad, which was a very moving moment. He asked me to look after Nana Dorothy, who was in a care home, which I did for the last seven years of her life.

I love being a grandparent. Ally has a daughter, Harley. They live in Los Angeles, and we see her as often as I can. Two of my children have followed me into fashion. My middle daughter, Elizabeth, has her own fashion line and my son, Richard, a musician, is also involved with design work. So it seems my line of work really is in the genes. I have tried to give my children the opportunity to figure out and do what they wanted to. I hope I taught them the same core values of honesty and integrity that my father and mother taught me.